Unseen Mayhem
by zfirze
Summary: HP xover, sidestories to A Rank Mission: Hogwarts series of oneshots that were briefly mentioned in the original story but never made it in XD sasunaru
1. Oneshot No I

hello! here's the first one-shot of this series…though since they're still sorta continuous so it's a sorta one-shot anyway…just a sort of impulse to start this before i go off for my exam…haha…

enjoy XD

disclaimer: i don't own anything :)

-.-

**No. I**

**Right at the Beginning**

-.-

Cerulean eyes blinked at the bright sunlight that was interrupting his sleep. Naruto yawned, stretched and sighed. Why was it he put up with this everyday? Oh, right, because _Sasuke_ secretly adored this. The falling asleep while looking at the moon at night and the waking up to the bright sunshine and warm breeze during the day. Sheesh.

Speaking of whom, where was Sasuke? He had just returned from that week-long mission, shouldn't Sasuke be spending more time with him in bed, Naruto pouted slightly.

Realising what he had just done, Naruto quickly rearranged the features of his face to look less like a pout. He wouldn't want Sasuke to tease him continuously about such things.

He stood up and picked up his clothes which were hanging neatly on the chair next to the bed. No doubt Sasuke was the one who had done that. He sniffed the air. Was that ramen he smelt? Naruto grinned widely. Sasuke must have woken earlier to prepare breakfast!

Naruto rushed out of the room to find Sasuke, with his famous smirk (and the ramen).

Unfortunately, that wasn't what he saw when he reached the kitchen. Instead he found a very peeved Sasuke (but the ramen was still there, in all its aromatic glory, oh my).

Sasuke was putting down two bowls of ramen onto the table, but with a little too much force, causing some of the soup to spill out.

"Teme, what's wrong with you? You looked like someone just ruined your favourite shampoo," Naruto smirked, albeit nervously (hell, he was testing the water!).

Sasuke gave a faint noise of annoyance, motioning for Naruto to sit down which Naruto hurriedly obliged. Tentatively, Naruto picked up his chopsticks and started inhaling the ramen in front of him.

Across him, Sasuke rather calmly picked up his own chopsticks and with another hand, laid a note across the table, "Tsunade-sama wishes to meet us at nine in her office. In full ANBU gear,"

Naruto glanced at the clock, while still draining the soup from his bowl, "We have ten more minutes, that's more than enough time. _That_ got you riled up?" He asked rather incredulously.

"Guess where I found the note?" Sasuke asked rather waspishly.

"Er, on the piece of wood you attached to the cupboard door so that the messenger wouldn't create a hole in the cupboard when he is delivering the note via a kunai?"

"No, the piece of wood came off after…last night's activity. Guess again,"

"Oh, er…"

"I found it on the cupboard door," Sasuke didn't bother waiting for Naruto's reply, "Do you know what that means?"

Naruto gulped a little.

"It means I'll have to replace the cupboard door. Again! This is like the fifth time this month!" Sasuke practically roared.

Damn that messenger, Naruto thought as Sasuke went back to eating his ramen in a huff.

At least, it resulted in Sasuke cooking ramen.

..xXx..

Ten minutes later, Naruto and Sasuke was assembled in front of Tsunade, dressed in full ANBU gear with their masks on. This meant that they were now the fierce and emotionless member of the elite ANBU, no longer Naruto nor Sasuke.

"Fox, Raven, I have a new mission for you. It is an A rank one but it requires both of you to be away from Konoha for a year, therefore I'm giving you ten seconds to think it over," Tsunade paused, and waited.

Sasuke looked at Naruto, staring at the perfectly painted and carved fox mask. He knew Naruto would accept. Naruto tugged the sleeves of Sasuke's shirt a little, and Sasuke knew that he had no other choice.

"So, your decision?"

"We accept," Sasuke spoke for the both of them.

"Good, now mission details. Both of you will be going to a school in Europe, called Hogwarts to protect a boy named Harry Potter. You two will go undercover and at all cost, must not allow anyone to know that you two are shinobis. And may I introduce our client," Tsunade motioned to the other side of the room where an old bearded man sat patiently, "Albus Dumbledore, and he will go further into details of your mission."

"Hello," Dumbledore greeted them in perfect Japanese, although slightly accented, "I'm Albus Dumbledore and I'm the Headmaster of Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," He paused and waited for any outbursts of 'but there's no such thing as magic!'.

There wasn't any. Of course there wasn't, silly him. Tsunade had agreed to send their best, after all.

"Now, we wizards do exist. Like you shinobis, our community is hidden from those who don't know about it. There are also Dark forces threatening the safety of our community as well and as such, I would like you to guard the boy Potter Harry as he is key in defeating this Dark force I'm talking about,"

"I wouldn't bore you with an old man's talk since I'd trust that you would be able to obtain better information from the books that you will be provided with, along with all the other relevant information of our community,"

At this, he turned to Tsunade.

"Alright, go pack your things and say goodbye to everyone. Bring only minimal clothes since you'll be wearing wizard-wear most of the time and your weapons. You have thirty minutes,"

With that, Naruto and Sasuke poof-ed out of the room.

..xXx..

Half an hour later, they were back in the room, carrying a rather small suitcase each. Dumbledore nodded, pleased that they were so punctual.

"You guys will not need your masks, so you might as take them off," Tsunade said.

Automatically, Naruto's and Sasuke's hand reached behind to undo the knotted string, allowing the masks to fall cleanly into their hand. The masks immediately disappeared into the suitcase.

Dumbledore had to hold back his surprise. They were so _young_, around Harry's age only, at the most. And they were already the best in their village. Amazing.

"Alright, brats. Be careful," Tsunade said rather gruffly.

Naruto grinned, "Don't miss us too much, baa-chan,"

Dumbledore blinked in surprise as he watched the blonde hair kid dodge the paperweight that Tsunade had thrown at him. Was he the same guy as that emotionless guy he had seen earlier?

"Dumbledore-san, you can transport them to your side of the world now," Tsunade gave her approval.

"Of course," Dumbledore pulled out a cracked watch from his pocket and muttered under his breath while pointing his wand at it, "_Portus_," It gave off a slight glow at that.

Naruto whistled, "Cool, so that's magic?"

"Yes," Dumbledore beamed, "Now, please touch this watch. One finger will do,"

Naruto and Sasuke pulled their luggage along with them as they stepped up to Dumbledore. They touched one finger to the watch gingerly.

Without any warning, they felt a tug around their navel and their surrounding dissolved in a swirl of colours.

-.-


	2. Oneshot No II

HELLO, it's been a while since i've updated this…apparently after school ended i lost my motivation to write since there were so many other things to catch up on…haha!

anyway, i was too impulsive the other time! should have read thru first before posting

hence pple, pls take note: IGNORE THE PART ABT TSUNADE MENTIONING THAT THEY WERE GOING TO BE UNDERCOVER AS STUDENTS!

okay, now the story can flow and fit…haha…

and thank you for the reviews! cheered me up during the exam period, hahs, cheers!

disclaimer: not mine

-.-

**No. II**

**The Leaky Cauldron**

-.-

"_Tom, are the two rooms I've ordered earlier ready_?" The deep voice of Dumbledore asked the innkeeper.

Behind him, Naruto clutched his head and placed a single hand on Sasuke's shoulder, as though he would fall if he moved. Sasuke was slightly better - other than a paler face, he looked relatively fine. Though both of them frowned at Dumbledore's conversation with the innkeeper - they couldn't understand them.

Dumbledore turned around to face them, speaking in perfect Japanese, "Ah, the side-effects of using a long-distance port-key. Please forgive this old man's forgetfulness of not warning the two of you beforehand since you guys are obviously first-time users in such magical methods of transportation,"

Naruto managed a weak smile, "It's alright! Even if you did warn us, there was nothing we could do to prevent the side-effects,"

Dumbledore smiled benignly, "Thank you for being so understanding. Now, if you would follow Tom to your rooms," He led the way up the stairs.

"Rooms?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, two rooms," Dumbledore paused and turned around on the stairs (while still walking up), "Or would you like one room instead?"

"One," Naruto and Sasuke answered at the same time.

"Very well," Dumbledore paused to converse with the innkeeper again who nodded eagerly.

They were led into a room on the second floor with a clear view of a street selling magical merchandise. The innkeeper left a short while later, leaving Dumbledore with the two guards.

"Now, I would have to cast a translation spell on you so that you guys would be able to speak English as well," He motioned Naruto forward, "I heard from Tsunade-sama that ANBUs have tattoos on their left shoulders?"

Naruto walked forward, turning slightly so that Dumbledore have a full view of his tattoo. Dumbledore peered at it intently for a while before pulling out his wand and casting a faint purple glow on it.

"_Hey! What'd you do?_" Naruto exclaimed at the ticklish sensation.

Both Naruto and Sasuke react at the same time, their eyes widening - did he just speak another language?! It took a second later before Sasuke managed to school his face back into its normal passive expression. It took a few more seconds before Naruto reacted again.

"_Hello? Testing, testing?_" Naruto frowned, before grinning widely, "_Hey! This is cool! I'm speaking another language!!_" Then he paused and turned to Dumbledore, "_What's the name of this language anyway?_"

"_English_," Dumbledore seemed to be amused by Naruto's antics.

Sasuke frowned. He didn't like being unable to understand what they were talking, especially if it seemed that Naruto had started to try out several curse words in the new language (judging from Naruto's expressions and hand gestures as well as Dumbledore's sudden faked deafness and obliviousness).

Dumbledore motioned for him to step forward next and he did so, allowing Dumbledore to cast the spell on him as well. Like Naruto, he tried out the new language by going through a few simple phrases. It was after his fourth sentence did he realise something and he opened his mouth to ask Dumbledore about it. Only to be beaten by Dumbledore.

"Ah, you realised?" Dumbledore obviously seemed delighted, "Yes, your suspicions are right. The spell causes you to only be able to speak English. No matter how many languages you have learnt before the spell is cast, once it is cast you will only be able to speak only one language the spell-caster has dictated. In this case, English. It is only a minor drawback and regretfully, no one has been able to refine the spell to remove this drawback,"

Sasuke nodded and Naruto chose this moment to add his own experience, "But we can speak some Japanese still! For instance, _teme_," Naruto said proudly.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He guess the word '_teme_' has become somewhat of a noun to Naruto and his brain doesn't even register it or classify it under the category of Japanese-waiting-to-be-translated-into-English words.

..xXx..

It was a few moments later that Naruto and Sasuke had opened their room door to find a huge box waiting for them outside (after the continued and insistent knocking on their door which has stopped immediately after they opened it and the best part was that there was no one there at all. Damn those irritating wizards). After recognising the Hogwarts crest embellished on the cover of the box, they promptly dragged it in and cautiously opened it (after all, they never did know what to expect from the wizarding community).

Books. Thirty plus of them, Sasuke had briefly counted. Ranging from the latest history of the community to those dated a century back. There were also spellbooks as well as books concerning sports, magical creatures so on and so far. Picking up the checklist from the top, they found out that the top twenty plus books were school-books from Year One to Five (Year One to Four to be read and expected to be able to perform and Year Five to bring for lessons as well as to read beforehand _if they were interested_) and the rest of the ten odd books were summarised background reading. _Summarised_. _Background_. _Reading_.

Naruto had groaned loudly, complaining that they should have found out from _baa-chan_ that they were going to be undercover as students. That it's illegal to force someone to study so much in such a short time. And that there should be a spell to allow all this information to enter their brains without taking up that much of their precious time and effort.

Although Sasuke privately agreed with Naruto (he hadn't respond to Naruto's noisy complaints which includes banging the various books here and there), he wasn't all too worried. After all, he had the Sharingan. But shhh, don't tell Naruto that.

Next to the neatly stacked books in the box were two thin dark coloured boxes. Naruto had grabbed the items (seeing that it was different from the rest of the content of the box and that it _wasn't a book_!) and opened them eagerly where they found two similar looking ash-brown sticks lying harmlessly.

Naruto picked one up, "Ooh, this must be a wand! It looks like the one Dumbledore was using, isn't it Sasuke?"

"Hn," Sasuke absentmindedly replied to Naruto's squeals as he picked up a note lying just below the two boxes containing the wand.

He read it out, "Enclosed are the two wands specially made for the two of you. I have asked Ollivander to strengthen it as your _chakra_ is much more potent than our magic. Hence other students would not be able to use them and it would be wise to allow no other students to attempt using your wands - "

"But why?" Naruto interrupted.

Sasuke sighed and raked his hand through his hair, piecing together the little information that they were provided, "Probably wizards would stick to only using his wand. Probably a wizard's wand is of utmost importance to them, like our hands to us. And probably because it would raise suspicion about us if other students used it and were unable to cast a spell,"

Naruto slowly nodded, letting Sasuke's explanation sink in.

Sasuke continued, " - I have spoken with our Ministry and had sent some false information regarding the two of you under the pretense of a foreign exchange and cooperation program. Despite our feuds with the Ministry, they had been more than happy to improve their image once words get out that this program was successful. Of course, their plans were to announce this to the public after the end of the school year,"

Sasuke paused to take a breather before continuing, "However, if your mission was carried out carefully there would be no need for this as I am certain that Lord Voldemort, the leader of the Dark forces, will make his move before the end of the school year and exposed himself. Either that, or I would be able to convince the Ministry of his return by then. Both ways, the announcement will not happen and I assure you that your village secrets will be kept very safe,"

Sasuke flipped the piece of parchment around and continued, "Attached are copies of the information I have sent the Ministry about the two of you as well as the data about Harry, including some details about those around him. Also enclosed are the letters that all students will get concerning the equipments they're required to have as well as the method to get into Diagon Alley and a map of it. I trust that you will be able to find your way around and get all the equipments you need,"

"PS. the bag below the note contains the currency of our community. The gold coins are called Galleons, the silver Sickles and the bronze Knuts. Seventeen Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle. They would be enough for you to buy everything you need and more. You have full permission to spend the extra on anything you would like. Cheers, Dumbledore,"

There was a silence as both of them took in the content of the letter from Dumbledore.

"You know, that was the longest I've heard you speak in a long while," Naruto said off-handedly.

..xXx..

"Kappas. Eww, they look disgusting, who would even want to go within spell-casting distance of them?"

"Flick and stab, followed by a swipe. Right, why doesn't it work? I'm sure I'm doing everything right. Are you sure the wand isn't faulty?"

"In the ninetieth century, goblins and wizards…zzz"

"Swirl it clock-wise four times and add the roots. Hmm, this isn't working…maybe I should actually add the ingredients and stew the potion instead of pretending and stirring an empty cauldron?"

"Ooh, you grip the handle and you'll turn right a little. Too hard and you'll turn a hundred and eighty degree around. Hmm, I want a broom to try it out!"

"Oh, he vanquished a troll and a vampire! Wow, but what are all the other creatures? Oh well, who cares,"

Sasuke's right eyebrow twitched. His Sharingan was out and his back was facing Naruto, trying to concentrate on the book in front of him now. Correction, his back was facing the Narutos. Yes, plural. And they were bugging the hell out of him. Don't they know about studying in silence and peace?

"Neh Sasuke, what's this wand movement about?"

"Teme, please give me a summarised version of the goblin war! I know you've already read it,"

"Wait, me first! Can you explain the concept about changing that toothpick to a needle thing?"

"Hey, queue up! I asked first!"

"But my question is more important!" 

"No, it isn't! Mine is,"

Sasuke sighed in annoyance. Apparently not.

As he turned to answer the question from Naruto(s), he switched his Sharingan off. He was suddenly really glad for its abilities. Hopefully Naruto wouldn't catch him 'cheating' or he wouldn't hear the end of it.

He briefly wondered how he managed to put up with Naruto for so long.

That thought was quickly thrown out his mind as Naruto(s) assaulted him with question.

In between the breaks from the question Naruto(s) were asking, he pondered. His bond with Naruto really went deep, doesn't it?

…and was he getting sentimental again?

-.-


	3. Oneshot No III

goodness, this has been sitting on my computer for over a year XP, thought i should try to finish this as i struggle with the latest chapter of the main story

note on main story: not abandoned but more like on hold (i'm stuck!)

warning for this oneshot: cautious!Naruto and overzealous!Twins (:

disclaimer: do not own Naruto nor HP

* * *

**No. III**

**Weasley Twins**

* * *

"Ne Teme, I'm taking a walk around alright," Naruto shouted as he deposited his suitcase on the rack above him.

Sasuke merely gave a grunt of agreement before settling himself down and staring out of the window, brows furrowing together.

Naruto frowned and bit his lips nervously together. Would Sasuke really be alright by himself? He knew that Sasuke was no kid and definitely required no supervision but he was clearer than anyone else (maybe even more so than Sasuke himself) of Sasuke's moods. The last few days Sasuke had spoken very little and Naruto could tell that he was slightly uncomfortable with the idea of somehow becoming part of their charge's group of friends.

"I'll be fine," Sasuke said suddenly, as though he had heard Naruto's thoughts, "Go take a look around. I know you want to explore this place a little," Sasuke had turned around and gave a small but somewhat strained smile.

Naruto nodded. Maybe he should give Sasuke some time alone to regroup his thoughts. He pulled out his camera and with a cheery wave, ambled out onto the platform.

The first picture he took was of the scarlet train in front of him. To him, it was really magnificent since Konoha had no such transport. After all, there was no such need when the village was mostly made up of ninjas who move about too often and did not really consider transportation means as important. Unless it was crucial in a war, that is.

Naruto continued walking along the Platform, waving occasionally at the students who were slowly streaming in. They stared at him weirdly when he did so. Nevertheless, Naruto continued smiling.

His smile drooped a little when he realised that the train had no station master assigned to it. Figures. A train running on magic would not require someone to supervise it.

Instead, Naruto chose a carriage entrance and sat down on the steps there. It had a good view of the barrier which separates Platform Nine and Three-Quarters from the normal platforms. The students who were rushing through the platform barrier had some of the queerest of looks on their face. But then, Naruto reckoned that running through a solid-looking wall tended to do that.

Impatiently glancing up at the large clock in front of him, Naruto sighed. Why did Sasuke have to insist on coming early? Scouting? That could not be the reason, since Sasuke (the bastard) was sitting by himself in a compartment on the train. If only Sasuke had listened to him. They could still be sleeping comfortably in that bed now. As if an hour early made that much of a difference.

By the time Naruto finished cursing Sasuke, the Platform was filled with students. Toads and cats were running away from their masters as their masters talked to their friends. There were loud exclamations of reunion as well as rapid exchanges of their holidays. Naruto's camera clicked madly away. He really wanted to show this sight to Sakura-chan, so calming, so innocent.

Naruto stood up when someone finally needed to use the steps he was occupying. With a grin, Naruto heaved the trunk onto the train and was offered a grateful smile from the particular student.

"Now then," Naruto dusted imaginary dust off his person when he finally turned back to the Platform, "Let's meet some people!" He rushed off into the crowd.

The largest group of people were gathered around three tall teenagers who were shouting and yelling and making a whole ruckus of noise. Naruto managed to squeeze himself to the front and was pulled to stand beside two redheads that looked identical.

"And what do we have here? A willing demonstrator!" One of the redheads offered him a pastry.

With his eyes still flickering between the faces of the twins, lingering especially on the freckles, Naruto took the pastry without thinking and finished it in one mouth. The next moment, he felt a tingle of _something_ run through him and in shock, he raised his arm to examine it. His yellow, feather-covered arm.

"Canary Cream! Just put them on a plate and offer them straight up to your unsuspecting friends! Very good for parties," The redhead exclaimed.

"And we would know. It was a blast at the Gryffindor's!" The other redhead chimed in.

Their other partner in crime held up the box containing a whole bunch of the Cream and took up the promoting as the twins turned around to face Naruto. Disgruntled, Naruto shook out the remaining feathers from his arm. His eyes fell onto the camera that was still in his hand and he cursed inwardly. He missed a good photo.

"Hey mate, thanks for volunteering," One of them said to Naruto, "I'm Fred,"

"And I'm George. It was absolutely spiffing to see you step up so willingly,"

"Now then, would you be interested to be one of our… ah, helper?"

"Our products are _completely _safe and we value all our customers' opinions," George said very seriously.

"Yes, indeed," Fred nodded sagely.

"Er…" Naruto said eloquently as he looked at the sheet of parchment in Fred's hand, a helper recruitment form.

George bent slightly and frowned as he stared at Naruto, "Hey, I've never seen you around. What House are you in?"

"Oh," Naruto started at the sudden change of topic, "I'm a transfer student. From Japan. Eh," Naruto scratched the back of his head, slightly overwhelmed by the sudden glints in Fred and George's eyes, "I'm Naruto…?" He offered his name.

"Naruto, our old friend!" Fred draped an arm across Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto's eyes narrowed at the tone of Fred's voice and it narrowed further when George's arm joined Fred's on the other shoulder.

"Exchange student! Wow, now that really takes the top," George added in.

"The icing on the cake,"

"Wonderful way to start a year,"

"And what an amazing year it will be!"

Naruto's eyes darted between the two identical faces. Their friend that had taken up the business front looked over behind him and gave Naruto a half-grin that was partly apologetic and mostly filled with mischief. Naruto could not help comparing them to the prankster he was a few years back. If only he knew better how this world worked, pranking would be such fun.

"Anyway, as we were saying, old boy," Fred started talking again.

"Testing for our products is perfectly safe,"

"Really now?" Naruto said slowly, "Then why would you need testers?"

"That, my friend, is an excellent question!" Fred (or maybe George) answered.

"Testers are a form of promotion, you see," The other twin said wisely.

"Attracting customers, that's how a business is,"

"Exactly, gathering opinions too. We can't launch something unpopular, after all,"

"Bad for business. Who knows what our displeased customers might say?"

Naruto could only nod. Somehow, he was getting the feeling that he should be getting away before the twins could drag him into something suspicious. Being the perpetuator of a prank, he was fine with that. Being the victim of a prank, now that was something else. He told that to the twins.

"Oh ho," Fred exchanged a look with George, "A fellow prankster?"

"What should we do now? We have competition!" George looked ecstatic.

"A little under the weather though, aren't you?"

"Just not used to Britain, that's all," Naruto blinked at the word 'competition'.

"Don't worry now. We can help you get your feet under you,"

"And in no time at all, you'll be an honoured student in Hogwarts,"

"Joining the ranks of the mighty,"

"Imagine the amount of students and teachers we could terrorise," Fred said dreamily.

"In the meantime though, take some of our products," George shoved a few undistinguishable things into a box and into Naruto's hand.

"A gift from us to you,"

"Our goodwill, if you please,"

"Use them wisely,"

"Be careful with the love potions though, they're still a little wonky," George pointed to a vial in the box.

"Particularly strong. Might result in a nosebleed too," Fred nodded.

Naruto eyed the bottle before removing it, "Nah, you guys can have this back. I'm sure you can find someone better that should have it,"

Fred clasped his hand in front of his heart in an overly exaggerated manner, "Goodness. Could it be you have a significant other already?"

"Don't let him hear you say that though," Naruto finally laughed at Fred's antics, "He won't be pleased,"

"Oh Fred. Whatever shall we do? Our friend here is all grown up! Ready to leave his nest," George wiped the corner of his eyes.

"Leave with our blessings, young hatchling," Fred said.

"Introduce us!" George yelled as he pushed Naruto away into the crowd, "And have fun mixing around!"

"Though we know that they would never be the same as us," Fred added in mournfully.

"Yes, never as fun as us,"

* * *


End file.
